Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
