i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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