I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
operation have a gay friend backfired
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
