Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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