There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
