We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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