kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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