PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
