Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
