I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
