you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
