All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
