My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize