My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Couch. On fire.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
