Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
