why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
