His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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