This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
