are you still at the devil's house?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
