she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
