I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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