can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
