remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
