I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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