i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
