I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
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We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
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You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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