Already got asked if we're dating
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
