a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
