Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
