Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
