I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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