No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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