When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
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I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
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I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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