Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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