sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
