I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
how drunk are you?
Several
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
