Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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