She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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