I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
