i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.