I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background