He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
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I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
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Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.