I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
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she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.