even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
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