I heard we made out
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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