i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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