theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
