I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
