New low: just hacked my moms facebook
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
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I love how my cats smell like pot.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed