Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"

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  (586): The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain" http://tfl.nu/88as
  Replies (2) Good night (1685) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on

  (818): View more from California

  and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top

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  (818): i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on (818): and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top http://tfl.nu/u7hy
  Replies (3) Good night (591) Bad night (2522)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.

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  (917): Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard. http://tfl.nu/xsvt
  Replies (23) Good night (2730) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.

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  (806): You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you. http://tfl.nu/w13u
  Replies (48) Good night (2125) Bad night (3122) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?

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  (319): Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota? http://tfl.nu/4k6s
  Replies (48) Good night (1081) Bad night (3301) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once

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  (860): it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once http://tfl.nu/6yr8
  Replies (9) Good night (4059) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was

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  (402): All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was http://tfl.nu/p0yn
  Replies (13) Good night (7103) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.

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  (508): Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day. http://tfl.nu/pq24
  Replies (12) Good night (7206) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.

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  (503): I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/wdtm
  Replies (5) Good night (838) Bad night (2207) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR

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  (724): he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR http://tfl.nu/mrnu
  Replies (7) Good night (2265) Bad night (982) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  Was who let the dogs out playing?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Ya. You started barking when it ended

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  (708): You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving. (1-708): Was who let the dogs out playing? (708): Ya. You started barking when it ended http://tfl.nu/fyl8
  Replies (3) Good night (1837) Bad night (395)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving

  (301): View more from Maryland

  He didn't think we needed a taxi

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  (814): I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving (301): He didn't think we needed a taxi http://tfl.nu/o7fa
  Replies (1) Good night (1365) Bad night (419)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.

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  (306): I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it. http://tfl.nu/pxhw
  Replies (5) Good night (1850) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"

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  (613): There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave" http://tfl.nu/7c09
  Replies (1) Good night (891) Bad night (207)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?

  (224): View more from Illinois

  50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.

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  (262): You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend? (224): 50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward. http://tfl.nu/qmja
  Replies (2) Good night (728) Bad night (126)

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