i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(