Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away