Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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