My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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