I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
