I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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