Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
