so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
