my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i believe in u and ur pee
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
