I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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