I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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