wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
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Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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