Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
