theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
When did angry sex become our thing?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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